Phat bastards universe.....

another day of my pitiful( but not any less proud ) existence on this world has come to an end. i sit down and wonder how have the events in the past day -in any way- changed the way the world spins, thinks, feels, lives, and generally goes about its business. i wonder how such an inconspicuous life like mine can alter the cosmic order. because i believe that there is some unexplained force in this universe that keeps it ordered and in check. there is an undeniable source of all the energy in this universe which is interpreted differently by different people. a scientist interprets this "force" as the principles of physical interaction of atomic or subatomic particles, a hindu interprets it as the play or "MAYA" the great lord vishnu created to keep himself entertained, a muslim has no other explanation other than that it is allahs will and if we obey him, we will be amply rewarded in heaven. the world in general, has two points of view of the universe, the rational, and the religious. the very existence of humanity on this planet has been a result of the conflict between these two trains of thought. the "war" between the rational and the religious has shaped our world in its modern image.

i personally am confused.......... what should i believe in? the rational offers an undeniable explanation of the innerworkings of almost everything in the universe, but fails to explain the very conciousness that we awake to every morning. it fails to explain the complex interaction of chemicals, energy, and simple electricity that leads to a wonderful symphony of thought, memory and belief that every living being is a part of. the religious offers an explanation that is deeply rooted in the blind belief of religious scriptures that have been handed down to man by the hand of the almighty god. i say scriptures because they is no other evidence of god or angels or demons or satan other than the religious scriptures like the bible,the gita,the koran etc., which are all considered the word of god. i do not know. i am stranded at the fork in the road that leads down either of these paths.

the cosmic force, probably, can never be explained, in any way or by anyone.

so how do i figure in all of this? how am i a part of the cosmic order? i frankly have no freaking idea ! i dont know why i am here on this planet, what i am doing here, where i am going, when will i know my true purpose in life, and how will that happen. i sometimes wonder, i am just a incomprehensibly small speck on the unimaginably vast fabric of the universe which will be washed away when the time comes. so it doesnt matter how i live my life,whether i am successful or not, whether i am rich , whether i am famous, because in comparision with all that exists , it is nothing !

but humanity has a very unique and beautiful way of dealing with its obvious inferiority. it has created social boudaries in its ranks to transform this sense of inferiority into a competition between each other, which makes them feel that instead of the vast universe a fellow human being is a less daunting objective that can be conquered. this competition leads to the concepts of wealth, fame and power. to an average man, the power to influence his own world, in which he was born,raised and will die in, is the ultimate goal in his life. it is the ultimate achievement that his mind can comprehend, and that drives him in his daily life. if we add the catalysts of family,friends and society into this "reaction" of mankind, it completes his world and there is nothing left to achieve.

so basically, in our pointless and unimportant lives, all we're trying to do is to upstage each other by flouting either our riches, our fame, or both. What grabs me the most, is that people fail to understand that if they have problems, i does not mean that the rest of the world has to neccesarily stop what it is doing and sympathise with you ! you have to work your ass off and prove yourself. this is one very important piece of information that my pop tries to drill into my small head each time we have a father to son talk. i now realise how true he was. hmmmm.... or maybe i'm getting too soft and need to go home once.

but if you think of it.... there are millions of people in the world whom you will never meet, who dont know or care who you are, and who lead quiet lives and dont crave fame or fortune but are truly happy with what they do. i wonder ar these people not ambitious enough? or have they found the happiness that all of us work hard to find? are they underachievers in the sense that they are not famous,or rich, or powerful, or have they reached the pinnacle of success because they made their dreams come true ? i know.... humanity sometimes does contradict itself in strange ways.

some people on the other hand dedicate their lives to understanding the cosmos and interpret the "force" in its true meaning. these people are also diverse in their form, just as the universe itself. they are diverse in the sense that they have different ways of going on about it. sadhus in india live austere lives of frugality, penance and devotion in the hope that one day they will be rewarded with the invaluble gift of eternal knowlege. knowlege that surpasses time, space and exxistence itself. some people turn to the numbing of all other senses except thought, with the use of intoxicantsn like drugs, weed, alcohal or what they find appropriate. this lends their sole concentration to discover "the force". but basically it is just hormones and chemicals in their brain that is doing all of this unfortunately, but not the cosmic force trying to contact you. some people say that music transcends boundaries and enlightens you. i believe that it is true to some extant in the sense that it is a release for all of humanitys joys, sorrows, stresses, thoughts, feelings,and it speaks to people in manys ways, but not in understanding the mysteries of the universe.